Adventures with Fail-tank

Now, it’s been quite some time since I attempted the tanking role, but I’ve known enough tanks to know a few things about how it should be done.  Last night I decided to help out a guildie on a HCoS run, to try and get someone a pretty lil drake.  Things seem to be going well, with the tank that we Pugged for it.  (And I’m going to be nice and NOT link this idiots armory).  Then we get to the first boss, Meathook.  Now, Meathook is an abomination, so not entirely pleasant to look at, or to smell I’d imagine.  So you can understand why we, the casters, would want to be as far away from him as possible.  Nevermind the fact that he has an AoE attack that interrupts spell casting, and keeps you from casting a spell of that school for about 3 seconds.

So imagine my surprise when Fail-tank drags Meathook back into the spellcasters for… no discernible reason.  After we kill him, and I point out that you really shouldn’t pull him back into the spellcasters, he responded with “lol w/e”.  This was warning sign number 1.

We divide up the loot, and I ignore my misgivings, and we continue on.  Well, 4 of us continue on.  As we all forge ahead to tackle the next spawn point, Fail-tank decides to hang back and let the rest of the party engage.  Not just that, he runs forward to make it LOOK like he’s going to engage, but then backs away without actually aggroing anything.

Let’s examine that again, shall we?  He moved forward to TRICK the rest of his party into thinking that he was going to do his job, and then backed away to let us all die.

So, the dialogue that follows after that, between the two of us is a doozy.  “Next time, don’t go ahead of the tank”.  “So, wait, you let everyone die to make a point?”  “Yes, I did.  And making me lead so I could mark would be a good idea”.

And then, as if it couldn’t get any worse, he hits us with the next one before we can respond.  “Now make me lead or I’m out”.

I’m sorry, but what?  You agree to tank a timed CoS run, and then you pull this sort of childish crap?  I’ll spare you the insults that were spewed from Fail-tank after we tried to reason with him.  Although I did find it amusing that he told me that I needed to grow up.

We eventually managed to finish the dungeon, after our hunter swapped to an alt, and the healer convinced one of her guildies to come help us as dps.  We were nowhere near the timer, so we missed out on the drake.  And I’m not sure that our tank was even defense capped for heroics, but honestly, she was STILL a much better tank than Fail-tank.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the most badass player out there.  If you’re a jackass, it doesn’t matter how many lil purple shinies you’re decked out in, you’re still a jackass.  Some people, just can’t be helped.  That’s why we have ignore lists.



5 thoughts on “Adventures with Fail-tank

  1. Yep yep *nods* that's a proper failpug story.

    Much better than mine pathetic excuses for failpugging these days 🙂

    But, God, that tank sounds like a right arse.

  2. Pingback: Disorganisation thy name is Tamarind aka in which he pulls a post out his arse at Righteous Orbs

  3. I've done some persnikkty stuff like that in the past while tanking – but not to that degree. For example if I have that one DPS that insists on blowing all their cooldowns to attack a target that is 3rd on my list, I'll politely remind them of a kill order. If it happens again – I'll let them die and keep rolling.

    Of course this isn't such a problem with Paladin AoE threat – but still. I've also done the same while healing – or just letting that guy who insists on standing in the poison/fire/hurt/bad-touch die.

    But yeah – what a tool of a tank.

    • Honestly, Adg, I have no problem with a tank letting stupid dps kill themselves. I fully support it, and have seen it before, with my wife tanking. But letting the entire party die, during a timed run (!), for a power trip? Inexcusable.

  4. I loved this article! I enjoy wow (been tanking since lvl60) but the 1 big turn off is the increasing number of twats playing.

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